I’m Alive

Today my sister gave birth to a baby girl. They named her Keneilwe (Gift) Hope Kobue. I must say with everything happening at moment we can all use some “HOPE”. She came at the right time, just when I for one, needed hope.
We have all been going through some changes in our lives good or bad, but mostly bad because of the Covid-19. I have seen myself changing accommodation three times in a period of eight months. At some point during the level four lockdown I have had to drive between three provinces in a day, because my kids and I needed somewhere to stay together.
Things have been difficult and quite challenging I must say. There was a time when I stopped and asked the universe, “what am I doing wrong?” I remember saying, I don’t know what I am doing anymore and if I am doing anything, am I doing it right or wrong?
But in the midst of it all I didn’t stop and crumble. I tried to find solutions, I made efforts, I tried things I thought I would never try. I called to higher powers, I knelt down, I sang, I praised and sometimes I even danced in the storm. I didn’t just make lemonade from lemons I sucked the lemons as the they were.
Make no mistake I didn’t say I got it all right if at all. I got most wrong but you know what made me sleep better at night? It was realizing that I am in a much better position than someone who doesn’t try at all. Because now I know how a lemon tastes like and what I should do to enjoy its bitter taste.
A person who has tried and failed is better than a person who never tried even much better than the person who is afraid or still to try, or even a person who got it right the first time.
I know life gets difficult at times, finding yourself loosing hope or feeling lost in this big crazy world. But then imagine life with no challenges at all. Imagine just sailing through like a young child with no care of what goes around the world.
I once read a quote that implies that the Universe gives problems or challenges to people that can be trusted with problems. Wouldn’t it be nice to be entrusted with something in this life? Because remember your tests can be your testimonies.
As you try and push, try and make ends meet, you get alive. The trials and tribulations that makes you get up daily in an effort to find solutions, that’s life. When you are standing in a queue at the hospital for hours that is keeping alive.
I am alive because I try. I get up, stand up and show up. I am alive because I take the bull by its horns and put it back where it belongs no matter how much it’s kicking at me.
It is not only because of my pulse, or my heartbeat or the air that I breath that I am alive. It is because I rise from each fall and survive that is the assurance that I am alive.
Georgina Mushi

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